Dear Philadelphia Flyers & Team Investors:
I wanted to take a ride on your Hockey Stick, but that desire has subsided because I don’t take rides from strangers or, in your case, losers (of the Stanley Cup). I really wanted you guys to win because you clearly had the hotter team… At least in HD.
Did you ever consider changing your team colors? You look like Halloween for crying out loud! When your team uniforms resemble comic book villains or the Halloween Adventure store, you should expect to lose, even in your hometown. Just sayin’. Orange and black is whack. It suggests supernatural things. Such as Snooki and Whoopi. And those radioactive looking Oreo cookie remixes they sell for Halloween.
Love,
Tokyo
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